Bring Your Own Chocobo
by Chaos Silk
Summary: A series of ficlets circling around the daily life at Shinra.Inc, starting with a rather... interesting boardroom meeting. Shonen ai, randomness, and violence.
1. Bring Your Own Chocobo

Disclaimer: I own nothing, with the exception of the concept behind the fic.

Notes: Because I decided I didn't have enough random insanity in my life, I decided I needed to start another drabble fic.

Warnings: There will be violence, swearing, sometimes implied shounen-ai and crossdressing. Also, general insanity/randomness. Everything I am known for.

0x0x0x0x0x0x

Prompt: 'Bring Your Own Chocobo'

0x0x0x0x0x0x

"Am I..." Rufus paused, taking a look about the boardroom. There were no chairs about the table, with the exception of the one he was sitting in, instead the division heads, as well as the Turks and Sephiroth, were sitting on large feathery beasts of burden all of which stared at him with their beady little eyes. "... missing something here?" He frowned, absentmindedly patting Dark Nation on the head when the cat pushed closer to him, hissing at the unfamiliar birds.

Reno smirked from the back of his chocobo, patting it on the neck as it shifted nervously, warking softly as the large cat at Rufus's feet growled at it. "Boss, didn't you see the memo from your father?" Rufus closed his eyes, pinching the bridge of his nose to stave off the headache that was sure to come. He had seen that memo, and just thinking about it made his mind ache,

Scarlet's chocobo let out a loud wark as it decided to attack Sephiroth's chocobo, which was across the table and on the other side of the room. Dark Nation let out an ear-splitting yowl as Zack's chocobo made a sound eerily similar to a teapot then exploded, splattering black feathers, blood and choco-parts all across the room, leaving the dark haired SOLDIER sitting on the floor in the middle of the bloody mess with a stunned look on his face. Reno's snickering could be heard echoing throughout the room, followed by a loud yelp as his chocobo decided to chase its tail, flinging him from its back.

"From now on...." Rufus said, covering his eyes with his hand, trying not to twitch over being covered in bits of chocobo. The warking had gotten louder now, as Sephiroth had cruelly sliced the head off of Scarlet's chocobo, adding even more blood to the already gore-stained walls. "When my father says 'bring your own chocobo', please check with me first."

0x0x0x0x0x0x

Poor Rufus, he has to deal with so much. I have gained much sympathy for him by playing him, he really has a lot on his shoulders.

Like it? Then review.

Requests/Challenges/Prompts would be loved, and possibly written promptly.


	2. Skates and Haste

Disclaimer: I own nothing, with the exception of the concept behind the fic.

Notes: This came from a line in the same roleplay that spawned the first.

Warnings: This chapter? None.

0x0x0x0x0x0x

Prompt: Haste Spell + Roller-skates.

0x0x0x0x0x0x

It had seemed like a good idea at the time. Put a cadet in roller-skates, cast haste on him, then kick him down the stairs. In retrospect, it really wasn't that good of an idea, but watching the unfortunate thing flail about as he tried to regain control, then scream as he went through a wall, was the greatest entertainment he had had in a while.

However, when the Cadet burst through the wall separating Rufus from the rest of the building, that was when things went really bad. The Cadet just got a lecture on listening to idiots, but Rude...

We'll let you imagine what happened to Rude.

0x0x0x0x0x0x

Thanks to all for reading and reviewing.

Reviews would be loved, Requests will be written.


	3. Snowstorm

Disclaimer: I own nothing, with the exception of the concept behind the fic.

Notes: Thank you Mr./Mrs. Arashi.

Warnings: None. Yet.

0x0x0x0x0x0x

Prompt: Snowstorm/Thunderstorm strands everyone on one floor from **Arashi**.

0x0x0x0x0x0x

Rufus sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose as he tried not to look at the shivering, white dusted Turks. Reno's teeth were chattering, and he had a large wet spot on his rear where he had slipped coming out the door. Rude had a large amount of melting snow on top of his head, cold water running down his face. Tseng was as composed as ever, straight faced despite the clumps of snow clinging to his hair and uniform.

Taking one last look at the chilled Turks, and the white power starting to accumulate at the base of his door, Rufus reached for the phone. "Make it snow inside the building again..." He growled into the phone as soon as the other line picked up. "... and I'll turn your punishment over to Hojo, I'm sure he can find a fitting use for you." He continued, practically snarling.

0x0x0x0x0x0x

Thanks to all for reading and reviewing.

Reviews would be loved, Requests will be written.


	4. Sickness

Disclaimer: I own nothing, with the exception of the concept behind the fic.

Notes: Hmm.... This seems familiar.

Warnings: Reno/Tseng. Could also be taken as one-sided Rufus/Reno.

0x0x0x0x0x0x

Prompt: Flu/Strep/Some other contagious sickness from **Arashi**.

0x0x0x0x0x0x

"Sorry boss..." Reno said, winking at Tseng as he coughed loudly and dramatically into the receiver. His superior smirked, furiously running a brush through his long hair as he sat on the edge of Reno's bed in nothing but a towel. "Tseng and I have come down with something, so we won't be going in to work today. You know I would...." He paused, faking another coughing fit. "...But you know Tseng and his germ-phobia."

"Right." Rufus stated calmly, rolling his eyes and staring up at the ceiling. "And is this sudden illness completely unrelated to you two leaving the bar last night drunk as hell and attached to each other like limpets?" Reno blinked and almost dropped the phone, glaring at it as if it had burned him.

"You said you were drunk!" He accused, not even noticing that Tseng was slowly getting dressed for work. He could hear Rufus chuckling.

"My dear Reno, have you never realized that I only pretend to be drunk? I didn't touch the alcohol last night." Rufus smirked, inspecting his nails as he spun around in his chair. His secretary peeked in, looking rather anxious, but he waved her off in favor of hearing Reno's answer.

Instead of Reno's indignant squawk, the next voice he heard over the phone was Tseng's smooth voice calmly informing him that they would be a bit late, but he would make sure they got there before nine. Rufus closed the phone with a click, pouting. He had wanted to tease Reno for a little longer.

0x0x0x0x0x0x

Thanks to all for reading and reviewing.

Reviews would be loved, Requests will be written.


	5. Alcohol

Disclaimer: I own nothing, with the exception of the concept behind the fic.

Notes: Technically, this one goes before the last. This is what I'd like to do at bars, because I don't like alcohol but I do like acting drunk.

Warnings: Reno/Tseng. Not comfortable with it? Skip ahead.

0x0x0x0x0x0x

Prompt: Alcohol. from **Arashi**.

0x0x0x0x0x0x

"I think I'm a little drunk." Rufus announced, clutching tight to his clear glass bottle as he swayed, clutching onto the stool for balance. To his left were Reno and Tseng, both clutching empty bottles as they made out against the wall. To his right was Rude, staring into his beer like it had the questions to all his answers.

"Only a little?" The bartender asked, winking at him. He grabbed the bottle from the young vice president and refilled it with nice cool water. "We must not be doing our job right." He announced, handing the bottle back in a dramatic fashion.

"Damn straight!" Reno cheered, finally coming up for air. He smiled brightly at the bartender and Rufus, holding out his bottle. "Now let's have another round. Then me and Tseng are leaving you asses for some...." He paused, waggling his eyebrows. "...alone time."

Tseng, who had only had one beer and was looking like the cat that was about to eat the canary, or in this case a cardinal, simply smirked, shaking his head at his subordinate's actions.

0x0x0x0x0x0x

Thanks to all for reading and reviewing.

Reviews would be loved, Requests will be written.


	6. Uniform Changes

Disclaimer: I own nothing, with the exception of the concept behind the fic.

Notes: Don't you just love Chibi Envy Chan? I know I do ^^.

Warnings: Boys in dresses.

0x0x0x0x0x0x

Prompt: SOLDIER in Dresses. Zack enjoys in a bit too much. From **Chibi Envy Chan**

0x0x0x0x0x0x

Rufus really wished he had been surprised when the entirety of SOLDIER –including General Sephiroth- showed up in dresses instead of their normal uniforms. However, with his father's recent obsession with shoving his *male* secretaries into mini-skirts, and his other male employees into cocktail dresses, he really was not. Instead, he was just mildly annoyed because he was going to have to clean up this mess before the media got a hold of it.

"From now on", he sighed, shoulders slumping. "Ask me before making any uniform changes official."

0x0x0x0x0x0x

Thanks to all for reading and reviewing.

Reviews would be loved, Requests will be written.


	7. It was like this when I got here'

Disclaimer: I own nothing, with the exception of the concept behind the fic.

Notes: Not writing requests at the moment.

Warnings: None.

0x0x0x0x0x0x

Prompt: "It was like this when I got here." –using one of assignment_muse's prompts.

0x0x0x0x0x0x

"It was like this when I got here." Reno protested, waving his hands about as Rufus entered the room. The Vice President stopped, glanced at the huge pile of letters dumped on his desk –the perfume emanating from them was enough to make him gag-, looked at Reno, then turned around on his heel and walked out of the room.

Reno watched him go, blinking. "Am I in trouble?" He asked the empty room, wondering if maybe dumping all of Sephiroth's fanmail on Rufus's desk was a bad idea. Sephiroth had suggested it though, he would just blame him if Rufus checked the security cameras.

0x0x0x0x0x0x

Thanks to all for reading and reviewing.

Reviews would be loved,.


End file.
